2025-11-30

On Learning Through Presence

Connecting the invisible dots


When you encounter someone's final work product, whether it is a blog post, a tweet, or code, the only legible thing is the polished result. The million inputs that go into the end result are invisible to the end user.

The illegibility prevents you from seeing the countless intermediary drafts, weird quirks, and rituals that enabled the final work product to come to fruition. The illegible inputs are an amalgamation of a rich contextual history that is only learned offline, in person.

Physical presence exposes the illegible because it gives you access to people, and people are the generators of culture, systems, truths, and opportunities. The real updates to your life don't come from reading words online, but rather from being exposed to stimuli in the real world.

Culture

When you show up in person, you feel like you don't belong. You quickly learn that others have a deep and rich shared cultural history that has spanned over the better part of a decade, while you are a newcomer. You try your best: you connect with people during late night conversations you would have never connected with otherwise, and maybe even plan to throw a joint party together in New York.

You learn via oral history that you are standing in a place that was going to be turned into a soulless Marriott for consultants, but somebody cared enough to prevent that from happening. You learn that even the most rational people operate under the same universal constraints as you.

People

You learn about the entire production function of others and what makes them tick: from the conversation topics that pique their interest even well past midnight to how they take their coffee. You notice that one person always sits at the same outdoor table facing north, how impervious some are to the cold, and how many Diet Cokes people are drinking well past 9 pm. You learn that one of the leading social psychologists has a sick Ness. You learn about the Cosmic Crisp industrial complex, the only good thing to ever come out of Washington State.

Systems

You learn that these same dynamics are present in blog posts, which turn into movements, companies, and political change. You learn the shape of successful people: some of them are nicer and some are meaner than you could have imagined. Some completely strip away the Straussian veneer while others continue to talk in coded messages with multidimensional meanings.

You learn that rational explanations of subcultures are overdetermined. People, not algorithms, are at the frontier of ideas. And that people respond directly to incentives, which are omnipresent and predictably determine downstream behavior.

Truths

You learn that adverse selection exists and that trust doesn't scale. You learn that you can meet everyone that matters across generations. The world is more binary than what you imagined.

You realize that you can surround yourself with people who are actively conspiring to help you succeed. That endless opportunities are available for you. And that you can do the same for others.

You learn that you can't reason about everything from first principles. But you have specific ideas about the world that are differentiated and worth publicizing. You learn to generate your own worldview of idea-driven and data-driven ideas. You realize that your breakthrough idea from a week ago is actually incorrect and deeply flawed. You know that being wrong is the nature of operating at the frontier of ideas, and part of life.

Becoming

You learn more about the shape of the life you want, the types of relationships you want with certain people, and the sacrifices you are willing to make to be ambitious. You learn that ambient ambition is real, and what it really means to love what you do, when you witness someone over twice your age work into the night and enjoy every moment.

You learn that your true friends are the ones willing to cross the Bay Bridge and pay the toll to visit you on a random Saturday. Having the courage to trust and share intimate moments with your close friends is worth it. That the only life worth living is the one you can share.

Caring

You learn what it feels like to use a typewriter because somebody else cared enough to give you the opportunity to experience that feeling and made it happen. You use that opportunity to ponder the market structure of writing implements and to write an endearing note to the people who have given you the opportunity to learn more about yourself. While doing so, you learn what the sound of a bell means when typing on a typewriter.

You learn that having the courage to care is the scarcest resource in the world. You can predict the future you want by caring enough to build it.

Most importantly, you learn that the ability and desire to care is built through presence.


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